Fathers day, the “other” parents day. The whole things has that feel of a “whoops we forgot someone when were creating holidays holiday.” I’ve always thought that Fathers day was sort of a Mothers Day Part II. Rarely do you (me) get to do something that I want to do for fathers day.
“How that old guy blog?” “He’s complaining again…”
Yes I am. It amuses me.
My first Fathers day. Came, as it always does, exactly 5 weeks after the single most important day of the year, Mothers day. For Mothers day that year (also my wifes first mothers day by chance, albeit the baby wouldn’t actually get there for a few more weeks) we went for brunch, spent time with her family, had a nice dinner with cousins and such and generally got dressed up and acted nice. Tea and crumpets day.
Along comes fathers day. “I can’t wait for Fathers day!” Thinking I was going fishing or a Giants game or something like that. “Me too dear (wifely distain hadn’t started yet, that kicks in when the baby was about 6 months old) we’re going to brunch with my Dad, then we’ll go to their house and hangout and have a nice dinner with the family and call it a day.”
Huh? Room spinning….
“Wait a cotton pickn’ minute here, didn’t we just do that for Mothers day?”
She looked at me blinked, and burst into tears. 2 weeks after giving birth she was a little unstable. :Little did I know that would be the pattern for next 5 years.
When we moved to Minnesota I assumed that the “vists” with family were over now as the closest family was about 1500 miles away. Fathers day would be MINE finally.
Arrive Mothers day, 1996 our first in Minnesota- “Whew you know what I want for Mothers day Sank?”, “What my Queen” (or something like that as I recall) “I want you to take the kids for the day and do something nice. I just want to chill”. We did make the mistake of attending our overly liberal Synagogues , way weird “celebrate mothers and women service”. I kid you not, there was a reference in the service about a “monthly connection to our fertility and womanhood…” at which time the LC grabbed my arm, nearly hard enough to draw blood, and right there in the sanctuary pew of the Lords house whispers (more hisses) harshly in my ear “why can’t they just keep to the f#cking prayerbook script. I can’t believe I just heard that, if the Rabbi ever had a period he wouldn’t be so romantic in referring to it….”
Moving on.
So that Mothers Day I took the kids to the zoo, to the park, out for dinner, got back around 7:00 to a very happy, very refreshed LC. Nice day for all of us. 5 weeks later, it’s Other Parents Day. Lets see now how did she do this… “Dear, you know what I want for Fathers Day?”. “Sank, I’ve already go plans for ya, since you don’t spend enough time with the kids with work and all I’m going to give you the whole day with them, you guys can go to the zoo, have fun, do what ever you want. “
Uh…
Wait a minute, uh, what the heck….
That was the new pattern, Mothers Day= Take the kids for the day, Dad’s Day= you don’t spend enough time with ‘YOUR’ kids day.
It’s a national phenomenon. Other-Parents-Day spending nationwide is 1/3 of Mothers Day. According to Verizon Mothers day is second to Christmas to call volume annually. Fathers Day, no blip expect in one area.. It’s the number one day of the year for collect calls. The old bank of Dad.
I got snowed. It was 4 years before I finally got to go fishing on Fathers day and that was because we bought a lake home so, as long as I was back by brunch I could do what ever I wanted. That would be from 6:00 am to 10:00am. I’m now looking at my 15th consecutive Fathers Day. What do I want? No brunch for one thing. No visits with other families, just some chill time and maybe a little quiet dinner with the Wife the night before or that night.. that‘s it.
1 Comment
June 15, 2008 at 9:44 am
Love your letter. Good luck on the alone time. Enjoy your children now while you can as they leave home all tooooo soon. Have a great day.