I have to beef observations this fine afternoon. 1) More evidence we live in a state where there is NO news. 2) Mixed marriages are difficult at best. In this case, coffee drinker and non-coffee drinker. People who do not drink coffee are … can’t even think of it.
Headline on the Channel 11 News at 10:00. Um, 10:00 because in the Midwest we enjoy “early prime time” for some reason. As opposed to the rest of country we need to go to bed an hour earlier, because we get up an hour earlier. We’re more productive and we all farm? Don’t know. Truth be told I like early prime time better than what we had in California. 11:00 for the news is a bit late for my taste.
Anyway, the headline went something like this. “Doing away with that daily Starbucks coffee will save you enough money to buy a villa in the South of France in 175 years. “ or something like. More to the story was all the great ways to be frugal and save money since we’re paying so much for gas these days. I don’t know what the math is but they figured the daily trip to Starbucks around $5.50. Personally I get out of Startbucks for $1.65. I always order the same thing. Dark roast, medium.
I don’t order grande, vente or amorae or what ever the hell the size of the day is. Which begs the question, why is Italian the universal language of coffee? I order a medium. My local Starbucks Barista, I think that’s her title, is, by now used to my contrarian ways and just smiles. However, at a guest Starbucks, on her day off, I usually get a look. Like they have to translate “Medium” into Italian to get it right. “Oh you mean grande”. “No I mean medium, it’s the cup size between the little one and the giant one.”
No latte, no macchiato, no special egg nog/crème de cacao mocha.. just a coffee. Occasionally after an evening out I’ll go for the latte but day in, day out it’s all coffee for me., Oh, I should fess up, I do occasionally go for the Depth Charge. The grande dark roast with a shot or two of espresso. Good stuff, makes you an achiever as opposed to a slug.
The next question, inevitable pisses me off because they always screw it up. “Room for cream?”
I never know what to answer. If you answer no, there’s an excellent change they are going fill the cup past the brim with 200 degree coffee. They should ask me “room for ice?” because I have to let the cup sit for 20 minutes before I can even think of approaching it. What I hate about a full cup of coffee is, no matter what it’s topped with, what ever sipper lid they have, in the car I will always spill about a tablespoon of piping hot steaming coffee right at that part of the anatomy where where the legs come together for form the top of the arch, just below the belt line.
The application of this heat, then causes me, like every f’n time, to jump, there by spilling to more tablespoons down my leg. My reply in the car is always the same. “AHHH SHIT”. Too many times I’ve scalded myself where no man wants to be scalded, and, as a reminder of my troubles, walked around looking like I’ve got a dribbling problem. The chance of this happening goes up exponentially as the shade of my pants lightens. By the time you get to Khaki, it’s approaching 100%.
I digress.
So my beloved wife, sitting next to me watching the news, looks over. The look she gives me says “ you bastard, you’re drinking away our retirement with your damn Starbucks habit. You’re leaving the kids and I with nothing… I, drink water.” What she actually verbalizes is “How much do you spend at Startbucks every day?” “Like $1.60 a week, lighten up…” I’m honest, I go to Dunn Brothers coffee you see.. That’s an example of man truth technically I’m honest, but maybe not in spirit of the conversation. It’s like when I ask her how much was that new Dooney Burke bag and the answer is “on sale”. I could have sworn I asked a quantitative question which would require a numerical answer. Maybe not.
Choices dear, it’s all about choices.
3 Comments
March 23, 2007 at 12:04 am
My question is: are you bringing your own mug?
I had a friend tell me once that she didn’t think she spent that much there, she guessed $40 a month. I KNEW it was more because she is there all the time (daily+)but she claimed she only got an Americano so it was cheap. So I asked: Do you ever get a scone? (yes) Do you ever get something for your daughter to drink? (yes) Do you ever get something for her to eat? (yes) Do you ever get something for your husband? (yes) Do you ever go more than once a day? (yes) At this point she was realizing how much money she was spending there…probably more like $150+. I used to be a 4x a week latte girl, now it’s once a week at best, although I now spend a lot more on coffee at home.
I am really rambling! Caught me way past my bedtime…
March 23, 2007 at 7:19 am
I think that the Starbucks phenomenon is a 2 dimensional one. There is the caffeine addiction that they carter to, but there is a social aspect that is interesting to me. I don’t frequent Starbucks much, and I’ve been caffeine free for over a month now, but the times I’ve been there I’ve seen 3 or 4 people sitting around an undersized table yakking it up. Starbucks is the new “sociably acceptable” tavern. Rather than serving booze, people can go, get an overpriced fix, served in a paper cup, while connecting with friends either in person or over the wireless internet.
March 27, 2007 at 9:58 am
Oh boy can I identify with the Italian frou-frou bit Starbucks is fond of. I hardly ever go in but the barista always makes that point in announcing the size like this poor dunce of a customer (no I’m not a guest or client or whatever Starbucks calls us suckers) to the person who makes the coffee. Great writing.